My mama don't like you.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do. Don't blame me. It's just...for example, I normally don't like pizza, but when it's pizza with the sauce and toppings that I like, I ignore the fact that I don't normally eat pizza. Same analogy right?

I like a lot of songs. Acoustic songs included. This song, Love Yourself by JB is bomb:

"Love Yourself"

For all the times that you rain on my parade

And all the clubs you get in using my name

You think you broke my heart, oh girl for goodness sake

You think I'm crying on my own, well I ain't

And I didn't wanna write a song

Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care

I don't but, you still hit my phone up

And baby I be movin' on

And I think you should be somethin'

I don't wanna hold back, maybe you should know that

My mama don't like you and she likes everyone

And I never like to admit that I was wrong

And I've been so caught up in my job, didn't see what's going on

But now I know, I'm better sleeping on my own

Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'

You should go and love yourself

And when you told me that you hated my friends

The only problem was with you and not them

And every time you told me my opinion was wrong

And tried to make me forget where I came from

And I didn't wanna write a song

Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care

I don't but, you still hit my phone up

And baby I be movin' on

And I think you should be somethin'

I don't wanna hold back, maybe you should know that

My mama don't like you and she likes everyone

And I never like to admit that I was wrong

And I've been so caught up in my job, didn't see what's going on

But now I know, I'm better sleeping on my own

Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'

You should go and love yourself

[Instrumental]

For all the times that you made me feel small

I fell in love, now I feel nothin' at all

Had never felt so low when I was vulnerable

Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'

You should go and love yourself

Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'

You should go and love yourself

Rocket Man.

It's been awhile since I feel this way.

I can't believe a fucking show can make me feel so real about life.

Perhaps, that's the point actually. Clearly the writer has succeeded in delivering the story.

Life to me...

...has been such a fucking roller coaster. From being a pushover to a fucking arrogant asshole. Been there done that, and I've come to realize that I much rather be the latter.

You know what they say...everybody dies, but not everybody lives.

I feel a huge connection to Hank as soon as I saw the first episode. I guess that makes me too much of an asshole, but deep down inside, I know myself. I think I have a good heart. Everybody does.

Here's a spoiler that really teared my brain open and left a mark right on that little buddy we call "heart":

Dear Karen,
I've been thinking about Us, the story of us. How the fuck do I sum it up? Has it been perfect? Hardly. Any story with me at the center of it will never be anything less than a big smiling mess. But here's what I know for sure—our time in the sun has been a thing of absolute fucking beauty. The nightmares, the hangovers, the fucking and the punching. The gorgeous shimmering insanity of the city of ours. Where for years I woke up, fucked up, said I was sorry, passed out and did it all over again. As a writer, I'm a sucker for happy endings. The guy gets the girl, she saves him from himself, fade to fucking black. As a guy who loves a girl, I realize there's no such thing. There's no sunset. There's just now, and there's just the two of us, which can be scary fucking ugly sometimes. But if you close your eyes and listen for the whisper of your heart—if you simply keep trying and never ever give up, no matter how many times you get it wrong, until the beginning and the end blur into something called until we meet again -- and that's it. I didn't know how to finish it, because it's not over. It'll never be over, as longs as there's you, and there's me, and there's hope, and grace.

I don't know man. I need to get back on my feet. I live literally thousands of miles away from my family. I've been really fucking good at it. I'm so proud of myself. For at least the last 3 years, I haven't been back home. I have seen my family though, through skype and the last graduation I had at Purdue.

Life is kind of in fucking shambles now. My sister just texted me earlier this morning bad news about my mom. She's not dying or anything, but it's enough to make me feel fucking useless as her son.

I'm not done, but I'm really out of words right now. Life just basically punched me in the face and I just need some time to realize world moves on.

Vanity.

It has been awhile...

In case you're wondering where that quote from 2 years and 3 months ago was from :)